Tribute for Shawna

Shawna Barker Rollins
1959-2010

It is said that Shawna never met a stranger. It is true! She was an instant success in the art of "friendly". Shawna was full of mischief, and silliness. We have lots of zany memories of her. A favorite one is when we were spray paining the wrought iron stairs railing in our house black, all of us had black mustaches after it was done. Shawna immediately began imitating Hitler in an almost "Lucille Ball"-esqe fashion. We died laughing. I have pictures of it around here somewhere.

Summertime is going to be hard to get through without her. We loved seeing her in her shorts being pulled by Brody her dog who easily out weighed her by 20 pounds. Well, Shawna is with Brody now' cause he went home 2 months ago.

We are going to miss you dear friend. You are really home now, and I know you are happy there.

Just a Note

My dear friends, I am in mourning for my darling neighbor who passed away this morning. It has been a terrible last few days for my dear friend and neighbor who is left without his beloved wife. God will is done and she is back at His feet playing with all her little pets she has cared for over the years.

I know my grammar is bad, but my brain is a bit mushy. It is late, and I am heartbroken.
I do have to say that the Lord has been by my side literally holding me up by the elbows. More to follow.But, I will post soon.

Advise Taken

Today I was given good advise on how to handle some of my OCD thoughts. There is a difference between anxiety, and Obsessive thoughts. Anxiety can be productive, and help you function, or figure out a problem in a healthy manner. Obsession is a great big argument with yourself. Thinking about a problem you have no control over, and then turning it into bigger issues, and then running the record over and over in your brain, and getting no results but more and more obsessive thoughts.

And then there is the dangerous Anxiety that can be debilitating; a total loss of the ability to function in a healthy manner because of limitations/ or expectations you have burdened yourself with through the years. This type of anxiety can lead to many problems. I won't list all of my problems here. But I would like to write down, (with advise from my doc) some of the obsessive thoughts and then put them away for the night.

Today my dear friend, and next door neighbor has had a massive coronary, and has fallen into a coma. Obviously my thoughts are turned to her. My heart is in my throat, and I feel totally helpless. I cannot do a thing to change her health. I cannot fix her heart, or bring her out of her coma. I cannot bring down her blood pressure, or explain to her grandbabies why Grandma is near death. I can pray for Shawna and her dear husband Brad, and I can show them my love, by visiting, and being there for her.

I can only do what I can do; keep a prayer in my heart and turn it over to God. Lord be with my dear friends. Keep Shawna in the hollow of thy hand. Help me to be a good neighbor and to turn my attention toward the care of my family. Lord help me keep my anxiety at a minimum, and my thoughts turned to thee for thy help in dealing with my troubled heart/mind tonight.

Bowl of Blessings

For many months now I have kept a bowl on the kitchen counter like that pictured above. In fact this is my picture. Sometimes it has cherry tomatoes, sometimes it has grapes, sometimes it has granola bars, or nuts. I have found that my family really uses this bowl. Instead of going for junk food, (which I rarely buy), they are used to these kinds of choices. If they want junk they have to go out of the house to get it.

Now, I still make goodies, and Saturday is free day, I am still addicted to bread and butter, and Oh my gosh, chocolate covered Riesen's candy, that Brandon's mother gave to Jordan for her birthday! I like to pretend that a Michelin star chef is going to ring my doorbell and offer to cook dinner from the ingredients I have on hand. Right now he/she will find the best cheeses, pastas, and veggies. Prime cuts of venison, beef, chicken and pork. Shell fish, nuts and every spice you could possibly want. Oh, and homemade Lemon Curd, and Sage Honey from AdreAnn. Yes!!!

Not to toot my own horn....but TOOT...TOOT.

Thank you dear Lord, for our bounty, and the blessings of plenty, shelter, clean water, medicine, family, health, and LOVE. Heavenly Father please be with those of my brothers and sisters who need thee. In Jesus' name Amen.

Forever Home

Last weekend Jordan and I snuck away for an awesome weekend to Best Friends. We have come out of mourning for our darling Sugar, and we all felt it was time to adopt 2 new kitties. I feel 2 cats for our family is best, because they can play with each other when we are gone, and if something happens to one of them, one of them is still left to love.

The reason I chose Best Friends to adopt from is because they are a no kill shelter, and I am a member. Unless an animal comes in, in unsurvivable condition, they will rehabilitate and keep the cat in a cattery, like the one shown below. All these cats have free access to indoor and outdoor rooms.

Best Friends Animal Sanctuary

It is located in Kanab, and between them and the BLM they own 43,000 acres that look like this!

The cats are cared for by wonderful cat lovers like the ones in this photo. Our cat Keegan is being loved and bid adieu by these nice people who came in especially just to see him off. The caregivers are angels on earth caring for and loving God's creatures. Some of the conditions some of these cats were found in were deplorable. Some have been beaten, starved, crammed in cages, or abandoned. So when one of their cats is adopted into a Forever Home, it is bittersweet for them. They truly love the cats, and are sad to see them leave, but soooo happy they are going home.
Keegan the gray cat was found in a deserted barn by the US Forest Service along the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. They brought him to Best Friends. The Forest Service thinks he was in that barn for a few days without food or water. Best Friends takes the cat, isolates him for 2 weeks, is given medical care then neutered. He is then put in with the other cats and watched to see how well he integrates. Keegan was thought to be about 8-9 months old. He was a favorite of the caregivers and a loving and sweet boy.
Dean, the orange tabby, was abandoned when he was about 10 days old. He had lots of problems, but was lovingly cared for and socialized and has the most adorable face. It has been fun to welcome these two new boys into our family. We are they type of family who needs pets. The girls and I especially love cats. So thanks goes out to our BEST FRIENDS who rescued these cats so we could bring them home to live with us for many, many years.

This is not a Happy Ending...this is just the Beginning of Happily Ever After.

Eyelids are so Sad

My mother commented on my sad eyes in some of the last photos I posted. Thanks Mom! It is settled, my 2010 surgery is going to be eyelid surgery!!!!

Eyelid surgery

My father has such saggy eyelids that his vision is impeded by 70% and insurance is going to cover the cost.

I will be tucking money away, and investigating surgeons here in my area. I would like to know what your opinions about cosmetic surgery are. Vote at my poll or leave a comment here.