City League Champions...Whoo-hooo!

"Typical Chinese High School Team all girls (same hair cuts mandatory)"

I have never gone through a sports season as a parent. Okay we did go through volleyball in Malaysia, but that was way different than here. Those Chinese High Schools had drill sergeants as coaches and really butch 16 year-old's playing our tiny little 13 year old American girls. And it was fun, but they always played at our American school because our gymnasium was only one of three enclosed gyms on the island, and few of their parents came to cheer them on, so we didn't get defensive. We went into the game knowing we would get spanked, and knowing that their coach would scream at the girls in Chinese, (probably very directly about our girls).Dalat International School Gym. Open windows and right on the Indian Ocean, beach is about 100 feet out the window.

Jordan and Malaina played the radio and guitar respectively so, we didn't have any of their games to go through. But Christina is the one who likes sports. And more importantly, she is my baby! So, you can imagine my angst when she suffers losses and mess-ups. She is a team player and this year was quite an eye opener for me, for gentle readers, it seems that I suck as a parent. Here are a few reasons why...

• I typically have the biggest mouth on the home team. (Not a "good-ly" trait)
  
• I seem to be the only one who heckles the ump. (Also a "thou shalt not")
  
• I am the only parent who forgets which side her kid is playing on and sometimes root for the wrong team.
• My husband (Dave Jr.) can really yell at an ump, almost as good as Sparky Anderson or Billy Martin, and I am not ashamed!! (way to go Dave Sr., he learned from the best!)
  
• I yell at the other parents who criticize my kid.
• I didn't know that a batter can run for 1st on a 3rd strike if the catcher drops the ball!! (stupidest rule in the game). Therefore I lack knowledge of the damn sport.
  
• I hate the other parents on the opposing team who act like I do. I HATE them. (especially that fat cow....she knows who she is!)
  
• I didn't know I had so much hate in me?!? I had no idea it was there, festering beneath the sad shallow layer, that is my skin.

Pathetic loser right? Can you just picture me sitting there with Kujo like spittle dripping from my lips? I am the crazed, rabid sports mom from hell right? Please give me a shout out if you are like me. I know my sister-in-law Rena is like that. She went through years of team athletics/politics with Viewmont H.S. She says my brother wouldn't even sit with her at any of the games, she was so bad.

So, not to make this post ALL about me, I would like to congratulate the Provo City League Sunbirds for taking the city championship! Kudo's (not Kujo ) to Tad Walch and the girls!

Dave is in the blue hat. Tiny is pictured above.
10-1 record

Of Cleats and Ipods

The young woman called her mother early one Monday afternoon.
"I found my Ipod!" she enunciated over her cell phone.
Flabbergasted, the mother cried back,
"What! Where? When?"
"In my cleats! Remember I left my gear bag in my locker over the weekend, because I was sick and I couldn't go to practice all last week?" "Well, I gotta go to practice, bye!"
The young woman was off the phone in a flash; under the assumption that the mother would automatically drop whatever she was doing to fly to Provo High School to pick her up after softball practice.

Well, the young woman was correct in her assumption. The mother will drop everything. She will stop in the middle of dinner preparations, laundry folding, and most importantly... the finale of whatever the Barefoot Contessa is concocting on her show, to fly off to pick the young woman up after softball practice.

The mother vaguely remembers putting the Ipod in the cleats. It was supposed to serve as a wake up moment for the young woman when she finally found them. The young woman was supposed to grasp the fact that never in a million years would she, herself, ever have put the Ipod in a stinky, disgusting cleat. Only the busy, overworked, under appreciated mother would have pulled off such a stunt.

And, the young woman was supposed to feel chastened. Supposed to feel slightly ashamed of herself for losing such an expensive possesion. The irony of the smelly cleat was totally lost on the young woman, she had no idea of the lesson lost.

The mother has given up on parenting, and is now in the process of turning over all parenting duties to the father.

Where oh Where Can the Ipod Be?

Has this ever happened to you? You spend a lot of money on a toy for your child; such as a Gameboy or an Ipod. You are happy to do this for them because they swear they will take care of it. They do their chores, they get good grades, they are deserving of your trust. Then a few weeks or days passes, and you start to see the expensive toy laying on the living room floor, for a day or two at a time. Does this behavior irk you the way it does me?

Well my natural inclination is to pick up the toy, in this case an Ipod, and put it in a safe place until the child begins to miss it. They are supposed to panic a little because they know if they mention they have misplaced it to you, you will get mad at their carelessness and abuse of the Ipod. Then they are supposed to learn their lesson by having to look and worry about it for a few days in silence, on their own. Then finally, they will take the risk of earning your wrath by saying they have misplaced the Ipod and come to you as a supplicant hoping you can help them find it, or better yet, whip it out of your purse and say "See, I told you so", and get the Ipod back.

Moms and Dads, this has happened to all of us right? I hope I am not the only sadistic parent out there who has secretly stashed a toy! But, am I the only parent out there who has forgotten where they put the Ipod? FORGOTTEN if they even took the Ipod? Vaguely remember that it could have been you who lost the Ipod? (because this is a ploy I have used to great success in the past, it certainly seems like something I would do) We cannot find the Ipod. I have NO IDEA where to look or even if I took it. Now who is playing mind games with who? I am the worried person who is fretting about the Ipod. Well I have confessed to my child that it is probably me who lost the Ipod, and I took my medicine like an adult. I am now writing this blog whilst on a break from tearing the house apart looking for the Ipod.

I will keep you posted, I know you are on the edge of your seats.