Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Hijinks and Fun For All at Wal-mart

So we have all seen the Wal-mart Bingo Game right? You can link to a copy by clicking on the name right here. Well, yesterday I was an official game piece of the game;
"obese person using scooter".

Yes, even my well dressed husband, just home from the office was sorta embarrassed to see me in the scooter. I had a bad day and was using Tiny's blanket around myself all day. I had no idea it shed lint like a dog in the spring. I had little white and pink cotton balls all over myself, no make-up and bed-head hair. I had on sweat pants and a "right from the trailer park" scowl of misbegotten fortune. I had never been more proud to be included in the Wal-mart family as I did yesterday! I am only sorry we didn't get a photo. Just close your eyes friends, picture it in your minds as you have just read my vivid description, and maybe, just maybe the picture in your mind will be even better than one I could provide.

Tiny has missed camp this year. Her gum grafts are still miserably painful. She is having a hard time swallowing her spit, standing for any length of time; you know, that old chestnut.

Jordan has done miles better, she was back at the office today.

Malaina wisely chose not to come home to the "Glad Convalescent Home for Losers" this weekend, and holed up in her "choice" dorm room up at the University of Utah.

And I would not blame my darling husband if he somehow forgot his way home from work tonight, or suddenly had to go out of town on a business trip.

Oh-My-Gosh!!...Did anyone watch Jon+Kate =8 last night? I do not watch the show, but I was scrolling down my menu guide and couldn't resist looking at it.
If there is ever a more sad ending to a marriage than this one I hope I never see it.
  • What was Jon doing with two diamond solitaires in his ears?
  • Jon says, "I'm only 32"--translation: "get me the hell out of here".
  • Kate says, "I don't hate Jon"
  • Jon says, "I don't hate Kate."
  • Cindy says, "What kinda crap are you trying to shovel me here?"
  • The dissolution of the marriage was going on for months and months, if they went to marriage counseling, I am sad it wasn't enough for their kid's sakes.
  • Lesson: Do NOT BARK at your husband! And never stop COURTING your wife.


lalo said...

I totally thought the same thing about the earring!

Malaina said...

I laughed so hard! I wish I could have been there. Hope everyone feels better