How Not to Dress for a Date

So here is poor Jordan after oral surgery today. Yes, this is her 2nd surgery in as many months, it seems that we like to subject our kids to torture, but we get 'em plenty stoned afterwards. Sorry Jordan. It hurts to be beautiful.



She has hay fever today, and experienced the WORST date ever last night.

So, she accepted a date from this guy who she met online. O ME, O MY. He showed up wearing a jewel encrusted shirt, studded belt, embroidery (all over) stitched jeans, white pointy cowboy boots, and man bracelets. She says even the old people at Mimi's thought she was with her fashion stunted gay man- friend. His Escalade was adorned with magnetized photo's of himself.

When they went into Barnes and Noble to buy a copy of "The Secret" for Jordan to read; so she can reach truth and enlightenment. (She thinks he thought he was a prophet, not a Hindu). The construction workers didn't even give her the time of day, all their attention was on the guy. Anyone who knows Jordan knows THAT ain't going to fly. At least this guy's "loser qualities" were out in the open, most of the guys she dates are hiding something behind a handsome face.

Then he dropped her off at her house, turned on the headlights of the car and was Whoot, whoot, whoot ing to Latin music really loud. He was proclaiming his expertise of Latin dancing and was showing her his moves. Then he grabbed her and told her to dance. She wanted to crawl into a hole, she was so mortified her neighbors might have seen the spectacle. She made a B line for the door. She got inside and didn't know whether to laugh or to cry. Either way tears were rolling down her cheeks when she told her roommates about it.

First off

• Why does my daughter attract such losers!?
• She is so nice, and friendly and and they are all so dumb.
• She has more first dates than anyone I know. Several in any given week.
• She thinks she finds a winner and then they turn out to be closet FREAKS!

Secondly ( this goes for all you nice girls out there)

• Even our stake president admits that there is a shortage of good men out there. What you see is what you get. Men have already put their best foot forward on your very first date and yeah... good luck with that. Invest time and money in yourself via education. ( spoken July 2009, to my face and hers) This from a man who has 3 sons. My pediatrician has sons...you should hear him rant about boys. You would not believe the number of RM's who have tried to take liberties with my daughter.
  
• Stop dating for a period of time. Really, STOP.
  
• Cancel the internet!!! Stop texting. Stop, stop, stop!
  
• Find happiness in your own darn self, sista.

Now readers with sons. I am not including your boys in this post. Just the losers who have already chewed and spit my daughter out.

Big Brother Season 11

"Hey wait.....Is she a big fat person?" I will give a 20 dollar gift card to Walmart to the first person who can name what movie the above quote is from. Stay tuned for the results. I am sure it will be Jordan or Malaina who wins this, and if it is Dave, he never comments on this blog anyway, and I will just keep the money for myself. And remind me to video Jordan doing the impression of the quote. (rules...don't call me or email me, you have to leave a comment to win)




Now that I have your attencion---ahem---HAVE YOU BEEN WATCHING BIG BROTHER!?

This is a guilty pleasure of mine and I used to be ashamed to admit to it, but, honey...this year's cast is providing me with some awesome television; and I am out of the closet! In an itty bitty nutshell (*because I am sure you will stop reading this post at any second*) let me fill you in.

• Cast is kept quarantined from all media, family, and are filmed and mic'd at every angle, who can outlast the others and win half a million dollars? Almost any shenanigans are allowed to trip each other up.
• Cast divided into 4 high school cliques. You can pretty much look at the group and name the groups. Misfits, Popular, Athletes, Brains
• CBS uses games, and eliminations are devised to pit people against each other.
• Jessie from a previous season is sent into the house, and gains the most power.
  
• One by one he and his crony's pick people off the show.
• Dumb girls fall for his bodacious bod, and whine and cry when he is "backdoored" and given the boot out the door.
• Chima, the girl on the top row with the clown makeup, falls to shreds after she is made a fool of by a secret "mystery power". OH IT WAS SO FUN . CBS fired her and she is on media blackout, by Viacom International, yeah, they own CBS, MTV, BET..... She actually threw her mic in the pool.
• Blond bimbo Jordan is in power of the house this week (Jeff sacrificed for her and is not so secretly in love with her) and she is going for the jugular of the two mean girls left in the house. Hey wait, she ain't so dumb after all.

Now before you judge me. Let it be known that I almost always do the laundry during the shows so I am not being idle.

If you have a guilty pleasure on television, let me know.

Confessions of a Bad Housewife

Seriously, what is your opinion of me. Should I stop confessing my weakness' on this blog, or do you like it when I blab? Vote at my poll on the right of your screen.

We are the worst LDS parents on the planet. We not only allowed our kids to go to a rock concert on a Sunday, but we took them! We even went out to eat at 5 Guys Burgers in Bountiful with my father. It was the best day ever. As a shameful excuse, we bought the tickets months ago, unaware it was a Sunday. Hundreds of dollars was exchanged, and we just went anyway. We suck. But here is what went down.

Here is a really nice picture of Dave and I at Energy Solutions Arena.This is GreenDay, one of my all time favorite bands.

This is my favorite current GreenDay song. 21 Guns.

The kids sat across the arena from us.
So it wasn't even a "family"event. We selfishly wanted to go.

I think we Glad girls have secret crushes on Billie Joe Armstrong, the lead singer. He has a potty mouth, and his mother was in the audience, and yes, he kisses her (literally)with that mouth.

This was a crazy good concert. They have to be one of the best rock n' roll shows I have ever seen.

Smackdown Monday Night Evening

So if you didn't know already, because you have never met me, or have never read this blog.....The Glad Family Rocks!!! Yes, we are not only cool to hang with, but we hang out at rock concerts. I am a hard dog to keep on the porch at a rock concert. I enjoy people watching as much as band watching. At our most recent concert, ( um, yes we went to Motley Crùe for Family Home Evening) I was sort of vocally unhappy with the boys from the Crue. It was fun to kind of heckle them. I was turning heads with my histrionics, they had girl back-up singers who were really stupid.

The best by a mile was Godsmack, a Boston band that was totally, incredibly, amazingly, good. The lead singer, Sully Erna is incredible, he can play the guitar, and he is masterful on the drums.

A first for the Glad Family...a drum duet. Here we are enjoying ourselves in free upgraded seats.

Here is Sully Erna doing a good job facing the western sun. Usana Amphitheatre is a really fun venue. Remember, best part of going to rock concerts is watching the people. I usually get a photo of a really crazy fat lady in a tube top, but here is an even funnier one of this guy's shirt.

Some people may criticize me for exposing my kids to rock concerts. I guess there is some wisdom to that thought. Beer and swearing are the biggest culprits. Families who go to an amusement park will see more immodest clothing there, than at a rock concert, so that is not an issue. Actually there is a certain type of acceptance and tolerance at a rock concert than any other venue I have experienced. All are welcome. And, there is only so much misbehavior allowed! A code of conduct, if you will.

My family has been all over the world. They have seen first hand the effects of, starvation, tsunami devastation, untold poverty, racism, discrimination, and tyranny, to name a few. But, they have seen festivals, cultural diversity, brotherly kindness, and hope. We have had season tickets to the symphony for years, I have spent countless hours driving to music lessons, band performances, sporting events, plays etc... and going to rock concerts, is just another of our ways to open the world to our kids. They know right from wrong, they don't drink or have tattoos or sleep around.

There is good to be found in lots of diverse places, even at a rock concert. Looking at my family above, I don't think I am doing too bad.

Really Rotten Email and My Response

I got a pretty disturbing email in my inbox last week. It was in response to an email a friend sent out to several people about a quote President Harold B. Lee made in support of our country and it's constitution. He asked us not to "preach pessimism".

I loved that! Don't preach pessimism. I think there is a fine line between voicing our opinions, for or against any issue and down right pessimism. As Americans, freedom of speech is paramount!

We have every right to protest, and we should become vocal if warranted. Writing letters, forming boycotts, attending rallies, etc... is how to get things done. Yes! Should we burn the flag, threaten, or become violent? No way.

But this letter that came to my email was just plain scary. He qualified himself as an "independent", that both sides of the party line were messing up this country. But he asserted that President Obama has done more to cause our constitution harm than any other president in history. That he was the "literal fulfilment of Last Days prophecies". He all but called him Satan incarnate.

When members of the church try to prophesy and send out an email it really irks me. I don't care if you are an independent, red, green or gay! Stop preaching pessimism! Do not try to sneak your maniacal dogma into my inbox and expect me to stay quite. Oh no sirree. Not that anybody out there is reading this anyway. Whew! This was very therapeutic!

The Real Boring Housewife

Okay, since the foot surgery, I have been pretty isolated.
I have to admit an addiction; not to pain medications, but to Bravo TV! Stick with me here whilst I explain. I am so addicted, that when we switched to Satellite TV through my sister's company, I insisted on the more expensive package that carried Bravo TV much to my husband's chagrin. Here are 3 reasons why:

The Fashion Show, below with Isaac Mizrahi, is Bravo's very mediocre substitute for Project Runway. The rights to Project Runway with Heidi Klum were sold to Lifetime television, and it will premiere on August 20.
I appreciated Fern Mallis'(the creator of New York Fashion Week, shown in purple) opinions on The Fashion Show, but in Isaac's own farewell words to contestants, "Sorry darling, I'm just not buying it"

Top Chef Masters

This show is wicked fun. It is great to see master chefs screw up by forgetting how to cook a hot dog, or cook an egg! The premise is this; 24 famous and successful chefs compete 4 at a time in quick fire mini challenges, and big challenges. Then they rack up points. He/she with the most points for that week goes to the finals. The winning 6 chefs then will compete for the title of TOP Chef Master. There is one more week left before the finals! Oh this is such fun to watch. Huge named chefs are in the finals so far, Rick Bayless, Anita Lo, Hubert Keller, Michael Chiarello to name four. By the way Top Chef season 5 will take place in Las Vegas and it begins on Bravo August 19.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey

I am saving the absolute best, best, best for last!!! These 5 women are soooooo much fun to watch. Tiny and I LOVE THEM! I thought the New York City housewives were the best. Those city slickers are oil stains in the parking lot compared to these true grit gals. These girls don't bother with society or social standing! They are no nonsense, hard working women who were not born with a silver spoon in their mouths. Family comes first, and revenge comes second.

Quick rundown from left to right:

• Jaquline in hot pink: Aching to have a baby, trying to be the peacemaker, every one's best and sweetest friend.
• Teresa with the black hair: Madly in love with her husband and 3 daughters, pays cash for multi-thousand dollar purchases (6 figures cha-ching). Hot Italian temper!
• Danielle in the center: Creepy sicko background, husband stealing, gossiping, trampy, stuck-up, broke mother of 2. Everyone loves to hate her, and for good reason!
• Dina the blond: Quiet spoken, devoted baby sister to Caroline, adoring sister-in-law to Jaquline, and a cat lover.
• Caroline the red head in black: She is the matron of this bunch. Happily married for 25 years, 3 grown children, extremely protective and very down to earth. Love her, mwah, mwah, mwah!
  

Look for the Purple Purse

This is not the most flattering angle of me I must admit. But everything must be documented in my journey towards a happy foot.

I am getting some stimuli and heat before beginning the exercises.

I went to Nordstrom, and I was bad, very, very, bad. I have a new Makowsky handbag, in stylish lavender. I am crazy about it. The only way Dave can stop me from spending is to kick the crutches out from under me, and even then I can crawl.

Did anyone see last week's issue of Time? (click on the photo or here to read the article)

Shock of the year....did you know the family is under attack?!!? Once again, LDS faithful are in "the know" before the rest of the world. It is a very right of center article, and it is about Time (no pun intended).

Here is the gist...

• Marriage is a covenant between man and wife (it should be more sacred)
• A father in the home is essential. (even left wingers agree on this )
• Affairs can damage children for a lifetime....duh

MY BLOG, MY OPINION

I Shed Some Real Tears Today.

My sister and I would listen and listen and dance and dance to this record (Don't Stop Till You Get Enough is my favorite M. J. song). Yes, I love Michael Jackson. Always have, always will. I remember when...... ahh, good times. Thanks Michael. (Hopefully- just for my sake....no one will leave negative feedback about how you lived, I just hope it is positive feedback about your amazing talent)



I also watched every single episode of Charlie's Angels. I thought Farrah was the worst actress in the show, but I loved when she would hit the tennis ball into the net and then run to the phone. I was secretly jealous of her legs, and I bought every single issue of Rona Barrett's Hollywood, or Gossip magazine when she was on the cover with her former husband Lee Majors. (Also reply to this post if you can name the color, make and model of the car she drove on the show.)

Reply to this post if you can name every single actress on the cover of this magazine (no fair cheating by enlarging the photo's to read the names)

American Opinion

So, I have not posted about American Idol yet this season. I have been kinda sick of blogging for a while, but now I am ready to pick up my "poison pen", so to speak. I have not been very opinionated in a while and frankly reading over some of my past posts, I have been bored to death. And speaking of boring....

....the guy on the left is so boring I can't even remember his name. I yawn every time he opens his mouth. ZZZzzzzz.

He has had maybe one good song all season. And, It was so boring I can't remember what it was.

We are ambivalent towards you, guy on the left. I would not recognize you on the street. You will go the way of all the other boring contestants.... into the" ether of ordinary".

But, I believe everyone should have their own right to vote and choose, so when it all comes down to it, I think it is rigged; the producers choose who is going to make the most money for the show. I am going to post a poll in the right hand column of this blog. Do you think American Idol is rigged?

Now let me get one thing straight. I do not necessarily love Adam Lambert. Sometimes he bugs me. But, he is more talented and has a better voice and stage presence than the other guy.( I think Alison was ripped off) I REMEMBER what he sang from several weeks ago. I REMEMBER him.

As I sit here writing this, I honestly cannot remember Chris's last name. ( wait,,, I am going to google it) "Allen" his name is Kris Allen.

I agree with Entertainment Weekly. Adam Lambert is the most exciting contestant since Chris Daughtry. So, I am through with the opinion. Love me or hate me, I am too tired to care, I will end it right now with the following sentence:

If America gets this vote wrong, I am through... through with Idol I tell you!

Fundraising, Bon Jovi, Creepy Bachelor

Fundraisers:

They are killing me. I have had almost every kid in the neighborhood (including my own) hitting me up this week for restaurant coupons, cookie dough and popcorn. All to raise funds that should be being provided by our taxes. But no....those taxes are going towards Securities fallout and saving everyone who bought a $350,000 house while they only were making $15.00 an hour.

I wish I could afford a few extra pounds on my butt or a few extra cubic inches in my freezer. But alas, I cannot. My heart is there for you. I was selective in my purchasing and only bought dough from my own child. Thank you, thank you, thank you to all the kind people who bought cookie dough from my little cookie. It is appreciated!


Jon Bon Jovi:

Okay, not even my family knows this; I am breaking my silence for all of cyberspace to know...I have a secret little girl crush on Jon Bon Jovi. It was all but confirmed last night as I watched him on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. Alas, he sang "Wanted" with a fan on the show real impromptu like. Everyone knows Bon Jovi songs are screaming hard to sing, and he just has an amazing voice. He is such a class act. Okay dear hubby. For our 25th anniversary....tickets? Anywhere in the world. I'll be your date.


The B*#@^&d...I mean The Bachelor:

Speaking of class act. This guy to the left of the screen is a creep and anything but a class act. I think ABC is creepy too. ( I guess I am creepy too for watching this TRAIN WRECK) It is obvious to the whole world that everyone (including his creepy girlfriend #2 Molly) thought the way he jilted and broke up with Melissa was inhumane and really low. He jilted her (with ABC's, satanic salivating mouth, hand rubbing, ratings getting blessing) on the air, by telling her he made a mistake, and didn't' love after all and he wanted the "other" woman instead. Melissa called him a" bastard" under breath, told him "don't call me, don't text me, leave me alone." She gave him the ring, and walked off the set with her head held high. It was so incredibly amazing to watch. I HAVE to believe it was staged; with everyone in" the know", but poor Melissa. If you care, you can link to Reality Steve for all the juicy details. Girl, you shoulda' kept that ring and pawned it~~~

Elitist Foodie Trend? You Decide

Did you see the article "No White House Food Fight"
in the special Inauguration issue of Newsweek this week? page 10, or link to it here.
Apparently she who's name must remain holy "Alice Waters" the mother pioneer of all that is Organic, "wrote an open letter to the president elect, suggesting that his eating habits could set an example for the country. Waters, along with Gourmet magazine's Ruth Reichl and New York restaurateur Danny Meyer, offered to serve as Obama's informal "kitchen cabinet.'" (Newsweek, pg 10)

A about spit my toothpaste all over my mirror as I was brushing and reading this article this morning. Has the foodie community really gained this much power that they think they can run the White House Kitchen? When did good taste buds, and a love of cooking become such an elitist profession/interest/hobby/talent? Some foodies are so self important now that they have almost taken over the organic, self sustained farming trend that is so popular now. Have you watched Tom Colicchio on the show Top Chef? Last week he was spouting how one of the chef's in question dishonored the lamb she was given by performing a bad butchering job. Hellowww, responsible hunters and Native Americans and housewives from yester-year have had this opinion long before you Mr C.. I am so sick of your shit Tom Colicchio. But, I'll be tuning in next week Wednesday channel 181 at 11:00pm!.

"Soon enough, big name candidates for the job as White House chef began to circulate" (read the article to see who was recommended). But gasp! Michelle Obama actually kept the Bush's chef!!!! SHE KEPT THE BUSH'S CHEF!!!!! Could this be? Did the Obama's offend the foodies? Offend the future "food cabinet" of America? Hah! But alas no...it seems that the Bush's have been eating green, and organic for years and years now. No changes in attitude were necessary in the Bush kitchen, there were no lessons or "examples" to make out of anyone and it appears as Newsweek so eloquently put, "the foodies had egg on their faces".

This trend has trickled down into the food blogging world too. I have noticed this when I visit other blogs that talk about food. One lady even put on her blog that she will review other food blog sites and if they fit her criteria (of which she listed) and if she deems them "worthwhile" she will link to our blog. There is a big long list of food sites I no longer visit because they have become so pretentious and elitist that I feel unwelcome even by the first sentence.

I harbor no hard feelings to elitist chefs and a few fellow food blogger elitists, oh excuse me, I am not an "official food blogger" since I also write about my life and other experiences. But I harbor no hard feelings just the same.

Obama 2008 For the Backpacker In Us All

Typical Backpacker in Thailand

It is pretty common knowledge by those who backpack that you can do an around the world journey for extremely cheap prices. You can get an around the world plane ticket for under 1500. USD. There are numerous constraints..ie: you must always travel forward, tickets are good for a certain time of year, for a certain number of stops, etc.. I know people who can backpack for months in India or South East Asia for a few dollars a day. Sometimes, less than 10.00 a day. Train travel and bus travel in these countries is very, very cheap. Youth Hostels are in every single Asian city I have ever been to. Food is very cheap in Asia too. Why do you think most backpackers look grungy but happy? Clue: Hostel, bus travel, cheap street food.

an aside

***Here is Christina and some new backpacker friends at Dharma Healing Center in Koh Samui. A very cheap detox experience. Places like this in the U.S.A would cost thousands a week. We fasted for 7 days and learned to do juicing on this day. For a fraction of the cost. This is an open kitchen at our friend Hillary's house.***

Also, millions of college age kids take 6 months to a year off, to backpack. My own daughter will be going to South America in February to travel. She is saving money now by living at home. Many of the kids we have met "out there" have been Israeli kids who typically take one year between college and work to travel abroad. These kids have no responsibilities or dependants and this really is a chance of a lifetime.

Now, I will get to the real meat of this post, the real reason I have chosen to discuss backpacker style travel. Are you ready? Brace yourselves... Here it comes...

To the wife of a cousin who questioned the validity of a college age Barak Obama "getting" his money for his backpack trip to Indonesia, India, Pakistan etc, and claimed that she or her children would never have been able to afford it while they were in college, I say .."WAKE UP!!" Have you been out in the world??? It really is full of people traveling on really, really tight budgets! What are you so afraid of Elaine? Just because someone had Pakistani roommates, or has been to India, does not make them the enemy within (her words, not mine). She went on to discuss reasons that are so far out in right field, they are not even worth my blog space by mentioning them here. She did mention however, she was really fearful of Obama though. I for one am fearful of people like her, people who are so afraid of the real world, that they question any motive a person has for stepping out of the box. Even if it is to educate oneself and meet other Children of God from other lands, or even to visit one's mother.

Oh my goodness, I had an Indonesian Maid for 3 years...(gasp!) Maybe you better not count my vote.